Thursday, May 2, 2013

How I Operate 5/2

Today...I feel like...there's so much to do...and...I can't do it all. Folks say..."do what you can"...but...my name is Can-dace...and I can do a whole lot....so then ppl say..."you're doing too much"...and I say how do YOU know what I'm doing? They say..."I see you on Facebook, and its a whole lot." and I think...I can't even tell Facebook half of the places I go...or else...I wouldn't get there...or I'd be late, or i'd be text driving. and that's not good for business. I'm just not a home body. I've been busy since birth. sometimes I do sit down with black piece of paper, either for origami, or drawing, or doodling ancient geometry. I do know I have to tighten my writing. That's one thing I'm working on. I'm taking some public speaking courses to improve my skills there as well. I intend to be speaking professionally for a long time. I have beautiful daydreams of vacationing in a hotel suite with plenty to eat for one week with no phone. Just a notebook and several different kinds of pens. and a lot of lotion...more than the hotel room gives...cuz I may walk around naked a whole lot and i just can't look down at my own ashy ankles. that would be depressing. then I would sleep instead of write. I do like to cry and write. that helps out a lot. Even earlier this week I wrote...instead of crying. I was so upset at this thing that happened...so I exhaled real hard and got right on my laptop. He sat and watched me go at it and waited patiently until I was done. I felt so strong and in control of my emotions. He probably does this all the time. but he didn't tell me what to do. He trusted that I would handle myself appropriately. I'm not sure why that almost jerks a tear out of me now...I am allowed to cry and write....whenever and wherever I want to. God is so...good.

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