Excuse me ma'am...Oh I see you found the shoes you wanted...excellent! Custom made, perfect fit! Gorgeousness! Expensive but worth it right? Yeah they will last you awhile! Good! And they go with almost everything. Ok so that's ONE pair of expensive yet comfortable custom made shoes for ONE year.
Yes ma'am. Just ONE year...I know...I know. It seems like an eternity but you will love them! They might wear out or need repair every now and then but if you stick with them...the shoemaker will take you places in those shoes you could never go if you swapped them for a new pair. No no no. No cheating! Just this one pair will be enough I'm sure. No we'll be confiscating all prior shoes and any attempt to buy other shoes during this year is punishable by law.
But listen!
You will be apart of the One Shoe Crew! I mean I know it kinda limits your fun outfits at a variety of events, and it kinda takes from your vibrant flare and personal style but...it's worth it! The One Shoe Crew even throws you a party!! You can dress up like a Barbie Princess and post on Facebook! And everyone around you will wish they had found a perfect pair of their own. The OSC gathers for conferences and they hold therapy sessions and support groups for members old and new who aren't used to just owning one pair of shoes. Now there are some rebels who jump from Crew to Crew buying all kinds of shoes and swapping with other Crew members but the shoemaker doesn't favor that kind of loose commitment.
We know it's in your nature to hunt for all kinds of shoes and bargains like you used to...but looking at other shoes is also against our OSC policy.
So....One Pair of shoes for One year ma'am...cash or charge?
No?
It doesn't make sense?
A woman's prerogative?
You can't do it?
Sigh....I understand.
Have a nice day.
Asking the average American woman to be committed to one pair of shoes for a year is about as improbable as asking the average American man to be monogamous for life.
Damn.
#letstalkaboutit
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