So I’m going to the movies with a crazy intellectual friend of mine and he says, “Oh we’re going to go see Kevin Hart’s new movie.” I say, “Oh ok…but I’m warning you. I don’t laugh at a lot of popular comedy. A lot of times I feel like I can get to the punch line before they do which makes it not as funny.” He says, “Yeah I actually know what you mean by that. Really I do.” I was like, “Word.” We sat in the theater and waited for the previews. Hmmm…come to think of it…I think going to this movie really only worth the previews…which I have since forgotten. :-/ Oh well.
So the lights dim, the cell phones switch to vibrate, and we are ready to see what he’s come up with this time…
BAD FIRST IMPRESSION.
Ok, you’ll never guess how unpredictable it began!! Okay, let me describe it for you. The cityscape of New York is zooming in from every possible helicopter camera they had available. That beat is kickin with a nice bass and we’re getting the proverbial credit zoom swoosh that they do for every comedy show. I think it’s actually a Windows Power Point entrance effect. Enter from right. Appear from left. Rise from bottom. It’s the same thing. There’s like a neato cool glowing effect on the font too. Totally brilliant right?...Wrong. Fail.
So the movie starts at a party scene with drinks and fanciness that you could imagine Kevin Hart and his people throwing. He’s a great improv actor so I’m sure a lot of the lines he just adlibbed and his cast went with the flow. I guess the premise of the title was that everyone at the party started accusing him of getting brand new because of topics he addressed in his prior standup shows. Also the news he’s been in and his other guest star appearances. “Oh Kevin, you don’t like dark skinned women no more? What you think you all big and bad cuz you are international” stuff like that. And no one would let him explain. So he makes a random claim to his main man that he’s gonna direct all questions to be answered by his standup act at Madison Square Garden. I’m not sure he didn’t just come out and say, “Hey Everybody meet me at Madison Square Garden so you can Let Me Explain!” Cheesy.
So the lights dim, the cell phones switch to vibrate, and we are ready to see what he’s come up with this time…
BAD FIRST IMPRESSION.
Ok, you’ll never guess how unpredictable it began!! Okay, let me describe it for you. The cityscape of New York is zooming in from every possible helicopter camera they had available. That beat is kickin with a nice bass and we’re getting the proverbial credit zoom swoosh that they do for every comedy show. I think it’s actually a Windows Power Point entrance effect. Enter from right. Appear from left. Rise from bottom. It’s the same thing. There’s like a neato cool glowing effect on the font too. Totally brilliant right?...Wrong. Fail.
So the movie starts at a party scene with drinks and fanciness that you could imagine Kevin Hart and his people throwing. He’s a great improv actor so I’m sure a lot of the lines he just adlibbed and his cast went with the flow. I guess the premise of the title was that everyone at the party started accusing him of getting brand new because of topics he addressed in his prior standup shows. Also the news he’s been in and his other guest star appearances. “Oh Kevin, you don’t like dark skinned women no more? What you think you all big and bad cuz you are international” stuff like that. And no one would let him explain. So he makes a random claim to his main man that he’s gonna direct all questions to be answered by his standup act at Madison Square Garden. I’m not sure he didn’t just come out and say, “Hey Everybody meet me at Madison Square Garden so you can Let Me Explain!” Cheesy.
So then they show footage of all of the masses attending his shows in various countries around the world. These include three spots in Canada (impressed?...me either) then Germany, and I believe Norway? Holland? Maybe Sweden? Then of course there’s the hype after show interviews with fans on some “We love you Kevin! You rock dude! OMG he was so funny!” Yep…seen it before? Yeah…me too.
So now we cut to Madison Square Garden where this momentous occasion is SOLD OUT…hmmm what a concept…SOLD OUT…Anyway. He’s overwhelmed by the audience’s reception of him and he introduces us to his special effect which aids him in his delivery throughout the show. He claims that no other comedian has fire on stage with them in the history of comedy. So when the audience gets amped up or he believes he deserves a reaction. He shall call upon fire to ignite the energy of the crowd. Hmmm…that’s new. But not in a good way.
He’s wearing all black and a shiny pleather looking long sleeve shirt. Black pants and boots. A stool and a towel. He begins to Explain.
But My Question is….
Can you???
Can you explain it Kevin?
Can you explain why your material was mediocre at best?
Can you explain why someone else is writing your jokes?....Oh they’re not?...ok…I was looking for someone else to blame….well….
Can you explain why we are still hearing about your ex wife and the divorce?
Oooh! Can you explain what its like being a father to your young children…I’m not sure we quite understood in your prior flicks.
Oooh! No talk about being famous…and all your famous friends!
I mean…. is there anything else in the world talk about? Anything? Have you been watching the news at all? Anyone of significance that you would like to shout out or an awareness you might like to create? Not one moment of sincerity?...
Hahaha I hear you reader…you say…It’s a comedy show! No one wants to hear all that serious stuff!
Aight…but listen. We are in some serious times. We got world leaders sick and overthrown. We got massive shootings, violence, and drug wars. We got disease and economic depression going around. We count on comedians to bring us the truth. Not long tangents about nothing and going nowhere at record speeds. You wanna be compared to the greats? The Legends? That’s a long shot. Way longer than your long dick which you keep reminding us you have. Ohh! Hotep it’s just funny! Is it? Is it really? Or is it a subliminal reminder of the over sexualization of the black man. Really sexualization is not a word? I’m getting a MS Word red squiggly line for that? Anyway. He’s no Richard Pryor, Cosby, Sinbad, or even Jamie Foxx.
Ok now how can I compare him to Jamie Foxx? Well I can, a little bit. Look at their ages and their audiences…Same noble cross cultured crew. They are both very physical comics who can sell their punch lines with “that one look,” you know. Cool. But Jamie could tell a story. And that’s what it really comes down to folks. The art of storytelling. That’s why Standup Comedy isn’t easy. You gotta relive real stories and make comical sense out of it. How often do we begin telling a hilarious story, only to end it all by saying, “Whew…I guess you had to be there?” Well you didn’t have to be here…you can just stay there. At home…watching the audio/video mismatched bootleg you are used to purchasing.
I’m just saying that the greatest comedians have played various acting roles to make them who they are. I don’t care if it’s before they got on stage or after they dropped the mic. They can act. You have to be able to act. Now I’m not saying he can’t act, but I’ve never seen him ACT. This brother is what we like to call. Type casted. They cast him in the same type of roles for whatever he does. You can call it acting if you want to but no…no…that’s not acting. That’s memorizing lines that someone wrote to fit your persona. Duh! You are cast as the victim, the short guy who gets no love, the runt of the litter, the smart mouth. And this is your fault. This is your contract signing, shucking and jiving, SOULED OUT fault.
Someone clearly put him up to this. If he wrote his own material, I feel bad for him. If he has writers that help and tell him what to say then I’m Mad at him. You have all of these ears listening to you all across the world. We got YouTube videos and Instagram picture texts after you. Folks are repeating your punch lines all over the place. Even the most elaborate stories have a point! Fa real, I can't even blame the smoke or mollies. But I do wanna ask are you feeling okay? And why are you walking like that? (You know how he walks….) You just go on and on and on and I'm really getting over your fourth grade rhetoric. The consciousness of the populous has got to go up. And you are not helping. I’d like to think we have evolved past all of your content. Either get a new writer, or stop writing your own stuff and get some help. People are comparing you to Eddie Murphy maybe because of the media exposure you are getting. But if the media is hyping your message up to the masses, I’m skeptical. Off top!
Now don’t get me wrong… Dumb humor is okay! I’m not mad at it…its funny. I did chuckle a little at times. I even giggled at a couple timely facial expressions he had. Word. But that’s about it. Normally a crowd is howling so loud that a roar of applause gives everyone a nice rest or relief. Oh…no…not in this show. Kevin Hart had to cue in his own fire when he thought he was “killin’ em.” Yes…there were no thunderous applause in between transitions. Just gas fueled flames when he felt necessary. It was really sad by the end of the flick.
He repeated more wild sounds for us to learn, but for real who are we kidding? You need to put in some real work. Do a little research, take a few classes. Do something because they are putting you in front of millions of people to dumb them down. Yes. The role of a comedian or a jester is to amuse the people and help them forget about the world and its struggles right? He actually helped remind me that we are being intellectually oppressed by media.
Can you explain why your material was mediocre at best?
Can you explain why someone else is writing your jokes?....Oh they’re not?...ok…I was looking for someone else to blame….well….
Can you explain why we are still hearing about your ex wife and the divorce?
Oooh! Can you explain what its like being a father to your young children…I’m not sure we quite understood in your prior flicks.
Oooh! No talk about being famous…and all your famous friends!
I mean…. is there anything else in the world talk about? Anything? Have you been watching the news at all? Anyone of significance that you would like to shout out or an awareness you might like to create? Not one moment of sincerity?...
Hahaha I hear you reader…you say…It’s a comedy show! No one wants to hear all that serious stuff!
Aight…but listen. We are in some serious times. We got world leaders sick and overthrown. We got massive shootings, violence, and drug wars. We got disease and economic depression going around. We count on comedians to bring us the truth. Not long tangents about nothing and going nowhere at record speeds. You wanna be compared to the greats? The Legends? That’s a long shot. Way longer than your long dick which you keep reminding us you have. Ohh! Hotep it’s just funny! Is it? Is it really? Or is it a subliminal reminder of the over sexualization of the black man. Really sexualization is not a word? I’m getting a MS Word red squiggly line for that? Anyway. He’s no Richard Pryor, Cosby, Sinbad, or even Jamie Foxx.
Ok now how can I compare him to Jamie Foxx? Well I can, a little bit. Look at their ages and their audiences…Same noble cross cultured crew. They are both very physical comics who can sell their punch lines with “that one look,” you know. Cool. But Jamie could tell a story. And that’s what it really comes down to folks. The art of storytelling. That’s why Standup Comedy isn’t easy. You gotta relive real stories and make comical sense out of it. How often do we begin telling a hilarious story, only to end it all by saying, “Whew…I guess you had to be there?” Well you didn’t have to be here…you can just stay there. At home…watching the audio/video mismatched bootleg you are used to purchasing.
I’m just saying that the greatest comedians have played various acting roles to make them who they are. I don’t care if it’s before they got on stage or after they dropped the mic. They can act. You have to be able to act. Now I’m not saying he can’t act, but I’ve never seen him ACT. This brother is what we like to call. Type casted. They cast him in the same type of roles for whatever he does. You can call it acting if you want to but no…no…that’s not acting. That’s memorizing lines that someone wrote to fit your persona. Duh! You are cast as the victim, the short guy who gets no love, the runt of the litter, the smart mouth. And this is your fault. This is your contract signing, shucking and jiving, SOULED OUT fault.
Someone clearly put him up to this. If he wrote his own material, I feel bad for him. If he has writers that help and tell him what to say then I’m Mad at him. You have all of these ears listening to you all across the world. We got YouTube videos and Instagram picture texts after you. Folks are repeating your punch lines all over the place. Even the most elaborate stories have a point! Fa real, I can't even blame the smoke or mollies. But I do wanna ask are you feeling okay? And why are you walking like that? (You know how he walks….) You just go on and on and on and I'm really getting over your fourth grade rhetoric. The consciousness of the populous has got to go up. And you are not helping. I’d like to think we have evolved past all of your content. Either get a new writer, or stop writing your own stuff and get some help. People are comparing you to Eddie Murphy maybe because of the media exposure you are getting. But if the media is hyping your message up to the masses, I’m skeptical. Off top!
Now don’t get me wrong… Dumb humor is okay! I’m not mad at it…its funny. I did chuckle a little at times. I even giggled at a couple timely facial expressions he had. Word. But that’s about it. Normally a crowd is howling so loud that a roar of applause gives everyone a nice rest or relief. Oh…no…not in this show. Kevin Hart had to cue in his own fire when he thought he was “killin’ em.” Yes…there were no thunderous applause in between transitions. Just gas fueled flames when he felt necessary. It was really sad by the end of the flick.
He repeated more wild sounds for us to learn, but for real who are we kidding? You need to put in some real work. Do a little research, take a few classes. Do something because they are putting you in front of millions of people to dumb them down. Yes. The role of a comedian or a jester is to amuse the people and help them forget about the world and its struggles right? He actually helped remind me that we are being intellectually oppressed by media.
One more thing…I couldn't help but take a look at the demographics of our crowd. I am not judging anyone I am just describing the majority. Multicolored sewn in weaves. They ran the gamut from blonde frayed and ragged, to perfectly slick with an “invisible part”. We had long voluptuous cleavage poking out of large popcorn buckets. Hair store flip flops, graffiti T-shirts and huge sagging gym shorts. Bad attitudes and cigarette smoke. Late comers and couples. That's all I’ma say about that. That’s what he attracted there that night in Pittsburgh…I’m just observing. You can comment if you want to.
Overall though, I’m thankful for this movie. No really I am…It makes me feel like even I could have a career in standup comedy. It motivated me to write and find away to bring some relevant conscious topics to the stage and deliver them in such a way that will ignite the audience… on their own.
His funniest bit (from a prior comedy special) was when he was getting ready to drive in the car with his Uncle Richey Jr. You remember it? Go YouTube it…no..go YouTube ME! Lol! But really…that was funny though right? Adjusting the mirror and shooting finger guns at the passersby.
Kevin, I would like to mimic gasping for breath like you saying, “Don’t make me laugh, don’t make me laugh!”
But in all seriousness…You didn’t
Save the gas, and the bus pass.
Two Stars for how many times I laughed.
Shout out to lyricist K.O. for sharing the tickets and my sentiments exactly.
Hotep.
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