Hotep's Relaxation Technique- Diary Entry #253

I want to nap in the warm white sand and recover with all of my hundreds of adoring sand grain fans on my face. I want to sweat until the grains become dark and gather on my forehead. I would be a dirty child in the sand. I would…swim in the sand. Dig myself deeply in the sand and watch myself grow. Lower. I want to feel the chill of the ocean and first and then be comforted by the peace it brings. Rolling under my flexed heels and toes gone haywire. Not looking to be pretty  or accepted by sandals but to be spread open wide. Unbridled by opinions my feet should be free. Even if my pinky is but a triangle which it is and if my index toe was long which it isn't..but if it was so what? Who cares? Feet work hard for freedom. 

Why can’t I go away where no one can find me.
Where everyone I don’t know will find me.
I want to drive and to fly farther and go faster
and wish the wind wasn’t whipping me in the face
and then be so glad that it did. Thanks.

Some people go crazy wanting an alternate life to the one they are leading. They really try to change their reality. Does it work? Does it work for them to just be? This world does not honor just be. If you are just being then you are lazy. You are not productive and not earning and not increasing in ways that monetarily matter.

I miss the hammock. Thinking about the hammock makes me sad because it was the most relaxing time in my life. Why hasn’t anyone handed me a hammock? I haven’t gone through enough? Well excuse me. I thought the events in my life and the suddenness of my life deserved a hammock! I know that I can enlighten souls and I promise to get right on that after my month in a hammock. How can I be held? The hammock holds me and rocks me. She doesn’t care if its noisy around. She just wants to support me. Even the creek of the hinges nailed in the the knots of the tree are my luillaby. The remind me to be quiet. Shushhh baby…Hammock is my momma in the nursery. She tells me to be still and let the earth move me. Ohhow the earth can move me. The wind decides the cadence of my swing. In the hammock. Under Florida palm trees is where I gave it all to God. I ate my homemade turkey sandwich by the pool and I looked up at the stars which were already looking down at me and I was overwhelmed. That is a moment I will never forget.

Hotep